Featured
Video resources created by Barry Shaeffer, LCSW, for gay men. Barry provides online therapy and counseling services. He specializes in working with gay men experiencing depression, relationship issues and anxiety.
Many gay men have been effected by messages from those closest to us about the legitimacy of being gay. When those messages are rooted in religion and when we are inundated with those messages, there are real and serious consequences for us. In this video we will start to talk about how we identify the messages we were told, what we took those messages to mean, and the consequences to our development from receiving these messages at a young age.
Have you ever been ghosted? It doesn't feel good. Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn't show up authentically? That doesn't feel great either. This week's video kicks off the conversation about ghosting, how we know ourselves better, and how to show up authentically in our relationships.
We are naturally drawn to fulfilling expectations because that is how we learned to create connection and safety for ourselves when we were young. Meeting expectations, both others' expectations and our own, can run amok when those expectations aren't grounded in what is right and true for us. Intentions are exactly that. They are based in our own truth and they consistently guide us in the direction we want to go. In this week's video we'll start the conversation on how we transform expectations into intention and the life-changing power of doing so.
"If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" In this week's video we dive into these words of wisdom from Mama Ru. We'll talk about how we know when we might be looking for love in all the wrong places and how we can develop the love of our lives.
The Me Too Movement has brought the subject of toxic masculinity into sharper focus and certainly into the collective conscious in a way that hasn't happened before. It started me wondering what role toxic masculinity might play in my life as a gay man and if there are ways in which I have been complicit or perpetuated toxic masculinity.
Today's conversation is about how we know when to take a risk, deviate from the standard, and trust our instincts. This can often be hard to know as our minds get SO BUSY around these things and that can create anxiety, which makes it hard to know the truth from the noise.
The success of Marie Kondo's Netflix show Tidying Up and her best seller The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up have made the idea of "what sparks joy" a talking point for many folks. In this video we'll explore how the process Marie uses with possessions works just as well in our relationships and other experiences.
One way we can think about cultivating more joy is by being mindful of our relationship with things that don't turn out the way we expect or plan. We'll talk about how we can view these things as a failure OR they can be an opportunity to know ourselves better and therefore experience more joy.
As we get older, it feels like making good friends becomes harder. This happens for a variety of reasons that we'll explore in this video. We'll also go over four keys to building solid relationships: setting our intention, getting clear about who we want to be in our relationships, knowing the characteristics that are important to us for the people we want in our lives, and setting the stage to make this happen.
In this video we'll start to explore why gay men can be mean and catty with other gay men and even with their own friends, what purpose it serves, how it aligns with our values, and how we can start to do better for ourselves and the community.
What happens when we stop holding perfection as our ideal...from weather to achievement and even our moods?
For many gay men, heading home for the holidays comes with its challenges. This can be be true for many reasons including: differences in how we see social issues, politics, and religion just to name a few. In this week's video we'll discuss five strategies for taking care of yourself and making the most of your time with your family.
Last week we discussed how and why gay men experience body shame and this week we dive into the 4 keys to nurturing a healthy relationship with our bodies: Acceptance, Gratitude, Connection, and Compassion.
This week we talk about how and why body shame shows up for gay men, what the antidotes are to shame, and how we can start to address shame personally and in our community. Next week we’ll continue the conversation with a deeper dive into the keys for developing healthy relationships with our bodies.
Once we have built awareness around our thoughts we can continue to transform our relationship with our thoughts by cultivating compassion. This week we'll talk about how and why compassion is the key for transformation.
While we can't control our thoughts, we CAN control our relationship with our thoughts. In this week's video we'll talk about the first step we need to take: building awareness around our thoughts.